You think pregnancy can change lives?
I mean sure, it does change, but the question is: How?
For starters, there’s no pregnancy glow, at least, not in my case. I don’t feel like I’m glowing or like I’m super beautiful. My skin sometimes looks as if I’m a teenager, my hair gets greasy and looks like it hasn’t been washed in ages in less than 24 hours and now my feet look like a Hobbit’s (thanks to the heat and the 6 flights of the past 20 days). In the second month and half of the third one of the pregnancy I was so sick that I could not eat almost anything at all. All I could have was potatoes, bread and sometimes plain cheese. Nothing else. Coffee, meat, sweets and pizza disgusted me so, so much that if my husband wanted to have any of them, he had to lock himself up in the kitchen and I had to do the same thing in the living room. We were separated by two closed doors, a hallway and many meters and I could still feel the smell of coffee or pizza. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO GO FROM ABSOLUTELY LOVING COFFEE TO HATING IT TO DEATH?!?!? Same goes for meat and sweets, but living in Italy was particularly difficult trying to avoid the smell and presence of coffe. Also, I was super tired all the time. Most days all I was doing was sleep. I could not do anything. I had no energy because I could not eat. I lost 4 kg in that period (that now I gained back and some extra kg).
There are good changes too in being pregnant. Things that are different now and that make me happy to be pregnant. First of all, being pregnant makes me happy! We have been trying to have a baby since we got married in July 2014. In two years and a half, I got pregnant only once and had a miscarriage soon after. Since we both have some medical issues that made getting pregnant a bit more complicated, we were really surprised that I got pregnant this time with no treatment. Over the years, everyone kept asking us: ‘When are you going to have a baby?’. People aren’t as understanding (by default) as you might think about this topic. There are people that don’t want to have kids, but there are also people that don’t have kids because they’re having trouble getting pregnant. Being young doesn’t mean you need to get laid once and poof!, you have a baby. Sometimes even young people have health issues too, you know? So cut them some slack and stop asking them so often about babies. It happens when it happens. 🙂
The second thing is that I have embraced even more my looks, but especially the fact that I cannot control (that) much how I look like these months. Instead of being mad about it, I’m embracing it and feel good about my body. I try to take care of myself and of what I eat, but my body is definitely beautiful and it’s working hard to make a new body. Also, my hair grows so much faster. Too bad it’s everywhere on my body, not only on my head. And so do my nails, but recently they kind of slowed down. Lastly, I get to have the last word (more often now) about where and what we are going to eat, both when it’s only the two of us or when we’re in a group, so I got that going for me.
I know and I respect everyone’s decisions when it comes to their own body, future, plans and families, what I just wanted to say in this article is that just as everything else, pregnancy is both lovely and bad. You definitely change, although for a very long time I think that you don’t really understand that there’s a tiny human being growing inside you and all those blood tests and the extra taking care of yourself seem so odd. And as I write this, I just felt Baby E move like a butterfly around and that feeling is a constant reminder that I should be better with and for myself, for him, for our family and for the world in general.